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I have written in awhile for good reason(s). 1. It took me a lot longer to recover from my allergic reaction than I expected. (Life tip: throw out your pill holder if you used to keep a very potent allergen in crushed form in it. Duh.) 2. I chose to focus on the one negative comment I received recently instead of the many supportive ones. (Response: I clammed up.) 3. My brain fog has progressed significantly, so that reading has become a real challenge. Turns out, writing isn’t as difficult, so here we go!

This year has only just begun, and I may have already gotten the best news of the year: I’m getting a medical alert dog! Let me back up a bit. I knew I needed one before I became allergic to a key medicine I needed to prevent more muscle damage. Needless to say, the urgency really ramped up afterward. But after hearing “no”a dozen times, it was hard to keep going. My energy was limited, and I was starting to feel hopeless.

Enter Ella Marie Glass. My little girl starting going door to door to our neighbors, asking for $5 jobs so we could earn money for a service dog. In 40 degrees on a Saturday morning, she washed windows, picked up trash or did whatever else was asked of her. How could I give up? I sent emails. I made phone calls. I messaged on Facebook. Multiple times to the same trainer or organization if necessary to get a response. I followed every lead until after scores of times hearing “no,” I heard, “yes!”

A couple weeks ago, I turned in my application and was accepted into a program called Paws for Life. It’s going to take a lot of time and energy and a hefty sum of money, but I can’t put into words how much this dog is going to change all of our lives. The dog will be trained to alert before an attack of weakness occurs, detecting a shift of potassium by scent. By taking potassium, I can prevent or greatly reduce the severity of an attack, giving me the best chance at a better quality of life now and in the future.

We meet two goldendoodle sisters this coming Saturday. If the bond is there, one of these 5-month old puppies will come home with us. Just in time. Last week I made an appointment to be fitted for a wheelchair. It’s a reality I didn’t want to face, but it’s time. I can’t go for walks around the block anymore. Driving is scary because I can forget how to go to a place I’ve been a million times before.

It’s going to be hard. Every Saturday for the next two months, Todd will have to drive me 5 hours round trip to Georgia for training sessions while someone watches the kids. Every extra ounce of energy is going to go to selling anything I can to raise the money ($2,500 initially and then another $14,500 just for the training portion). It’ll be worth it. How much would you pay for a chance to get your life back? And maybe even save it.

If you’re a praying person, please pray. Local friends have been so kind, creating a freezer meal sign-up and even starting a Facebook group for those who want to share babysitting duties. (I have at least three medical appointments every week, and I’ve been taking my poor kids with me for most of them.) Learning to accept help has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It’s just so humbling for this fiercely independent woman.

Today I bought a dog bed, and I can’t stop smiling. It wasn’t easy. I’m afraid to hope. I’m afraid something will happen and nothing will work out the way I hope and pray it does. But at least I can say that I tried. I did my best with the circumstances I’m in, and I didn’t give up. Ella taught me better.