This is the update I’ve been waiting for: the one I get share good news. My body has turned a corner, and I can feel it. It began the day before my brother and his family arrived. I hoped and prayed it wasn’t just adrenaline, steroids, or wishful thinking. My brain is rewiring before my very eyes.

I walked into physical therapy today, only accompanied by my trusty rollator. The look on the receptionist’s and therapist’s faces were worth every effort. But the best bonus was getting a big hug from a friend from church who happened to be in her own PT session this morning. She was shocked.

Balance, coordination, stamina and strength. Those are the focus, and physical therapy tested all of them today. I’m happy to report that (aside from mobility aids) most of my deficits aren’t obvious to the casual observer. I can envision a day when I can walk unassisted, and I’m determined to get there.

Motivation came via my postponed birthday trip to Kauai this week. Ironically, I’ve had a 40th birthday trip to Hawaii on my bucket list for years, maybe even decades. I envisioned myself in the best shape of my life, hiking, swimming and exploring with Todd. We all know what happened instead.

I decided that instead of comparing myself to some ideal, I’d remember where I started. Unable to move my right side, struggling to talk, dependent on others to feed, bathe and dress me. What a difference 10 weeks makes.

Packing and preparing took some forethought. Todd and I decided the travel wheelchair would suffice. He’d be my “walker” when necessary, and I’d rest when I needed it. Compression gloves and socks every night would keep the swelling down. Steroids would help get me through the day.

Our kids would be in the best of hands: a friend who happens to be a retired hospice nurse. Kathy is hanai ohana (adopted family) to us, and we are so grateful. I can’t remember the last time we went on a trip as a couple. Five days of rejuvenation were just what we needed. Postponing meant we’d be there for Todd’s birthday instead.

Two quick flights and we were in a different world. The views from the passenger window alone would’ve made the trip worth it. But I was able to do enough steps at a time to get countless amazing selfies like any other tourist. We even found a way to get me into the water. Kauai did not disappoint.

It’s not that I don’t have my moments. Listening to friends talk about their favorite hikes recently brought tears to my eyes. I love hiking. The smell of nature. The feeling of raw earth under my feet. The expectation of incredible views. The satisfaction at the end. Some of my earliest memories are hiking with my parents, and my kids are missing out on it because of me. Will I ever be able to again?

I just don’t know. Pushing my body to its limits is dangerous and damages my muscles. My type of muscular dystrophy makes getting into shape and exercise pretty complicated. On top of that, uneven surfaces really anger my pelvis injury. But man, I can’t help but want to get my health to the point where I can try.

One day at a time, by God’s grace. I loved Kauai, but I missed home, our friends, the kids. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. We landed where we are supposed to be, the Big Island. I can’t imagine why or how we got so lucky as to live where we do and share our lives with people we love so much. I’m determined to make the most of it.