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Why 40 Feels Too Young

Why 40 Feels Too Young

When I was little, I remember seeing decorations for a 40th birthday party. “Over the hill,” the black balloon read. Back then, it felt like a lifetime away before I’d ever be that much of a grown up. Now here I am, feeling that’s hardly enough...
When Cancer was the Probability: One Year Later

When Cancer was the Probability: One Year Later

“Evan has a limited amount of blood, so we need an accurate and detailed family history,” the doctor explained. At the bare minimum, Todd and I had to list any cancers diagnosed to any relatives. “I’ve been in close contact with the pediatric oncologists on Oahu and...
Waves of Grief

Waves of Grief

There’s a reason I’ve been quiet. Wave after wave of grief keep hitting, and I’m struggling to come up for air. The depressing state of affairs in my nation. The destruction from the Maui fires. The early death of an uncle I loved. The devastating...
The Heart of the Matter

The Heart of the Matter

It’s hard to know where to start. I’d planned to write an update about yesterday’s visit with the cardiologist, but what’s freshest in my mind is today’s incident. It’s the closest I’ve been to calling 911 in awhile. Not...
A Painful Inquisition

A Painful Inquisition

My appointment had to go well. I was finally seeing the long-awaited endocrinologist. The same one who refused to see me after a few minute’s delay last month. Now I knew: I had to be in my primary care’s office to have this virtual specialist appointment. Today would...