What a difference a week makes! I cannot believe Carlie Hope is here. I’m completely in awe that I’m getting this chance at a better quality of life. So many people have given so generously to make this happen. I feel so humbled at my small faith. We’re on our way back from our first official training session. The long drive time is the perfect chance for an update.

As much as I want to give everyone a fairytale ending, I’m not there yet. The first week has been a shock. Like nobody can really prepare you for parenthood, I don’t think I could’ve envisioned how my life was going to change. The difference between training a service dog and training a pet is like the difference between neurosurgery and administering first aid. The stakes are high, and I’m feeling the pressure to get it right.

To cement our bond, I’m starting at the very beginning with my 5-month old puppy. It’s a concept that’s different than other programs. Other training models deliver a dog to its handler who has already been prepared for service. That sounds good, and works with some disabilities. It’s just not what I need.

My medical alert dog must be in tune with my triggers. If Carlie had spent the first two years of her life with countless trainers in a  standardized factory system of training, it just wouldn’t be an effective partnership. From what I’ve researched, people with periodic paralysis need to be part of the entire process. It just means it’s much harder right now.

Everything has a protocol and has a purpose, and her training looks so much different than a typical puppy. The good news is, she’s made for it. The bad news is, we both have a LOT to learn. For example, Carlie can never ever be in a crate because she’s supposed to always be with me. She has to learn to go potty on command at any time anywhere because she’ll be in all kinds of scenarios where dogs are typically not allowed.

We’ve made progress at housebreaking, but she’s understandably a nervous little gal right now. We see the evidence of that timidity all day long. That means she pees any time she’s scared or excited, including in our bed at night. Sometimes multiple times a night no matter how many times we take her out to go (in the in the freezing cold). Wash bedding. Wash puppy. Repeat. I don’t think my washer and dryer have stopped running since Carlie arrived.

Another example: Carlie must learn to completely ignore people food. She can never get a crumb because she’s going to be in all kinds of scenarios where it’s vital that food is not a distraction. No big deal except I have an immunocompromised toddler who is learning to feed himself. Mealtime=food explosion. Messy hands=Carlie’s favorite snack.

So I’m trying to clean the floor while Carlie is literally tethered to me (protocol), telling both of them “no” and then sanitizing Evan’s hands, so he doesn’t get sick. Five times a day between meals and snacks. Ugh. Then there’s the fact that Evan loves to mouth Carlie’s toys and Carlie’s only interested in Evan’s toys.

This might be the hardest part. My life depends on Carlie obeying my commands. She has to learn to listen the very first time all the time. This takes a lot of effort and focus for both of us. Ella’s not a fan of these protocols. As much as we tried to explain beforehand that this isn’t a typical pet scenario, she is struggling. I remember how much I wanted a puppy at her age, but the refereeing the interference has been almost constant.

Did I mention our cat has become possessed? Sweet Cuddles, who wants nothing but love and snuggles from us, has stood his ground. He wants his mommy back and he’s not afraid to show how he feels. He terrorizes Carlie who pees every time Cuddles hisses and growls. I can’t blame either of them.

Forgive the indelicacy here: Carlie gets carsick. Even on the one-minute drive to school, I can guarantee they’ll be pee and/or vomit. This is a problem when you have a nervous pup and no way to stop her from moving through those indelicacies in the back seat, despite her harness. She hates riding in the van when I’m not in the back too. We’ve ordered a set of all-weather mats.

I broke yesterday morning. Exhausted in all ways, I had a paralytic attack. Pete had to drive me to my afternoon physical therapy appointment while Peggy bought more cleaning and pet supplies I needed, and my friend Megan watched Evan. So I only needed three people to function. Ha!

Now comes the good news.

• I wouldn’t have made it that long if I didn’t have the healthy meals our friends and neighbors lovingly prepared. I needed that fuel desperately, and it has made a big difference in how I feel this week. Did I mention I also started a new medication? I’m grateful.
• The Facebook group that my friend created for those who said they’d like to help is place I can post appointments. Others now taking a little of the babysitting load off of Pete and Peggy means I’m more likely to ask for the help instead of trying to tough it out with my kids (and now a dog) in tow.
• As hard as it’s been, Carlie is the perfect dog for me. Our bond is already so strong! Last week it took three hours to choose her. My head told me to take her sister, but she had my heart. I’m glad I went with it. The training session today was intense, but I think we’re going to make a lot of progress this week. We make a good team.
• Being alone with Todd during the daytime today has been such a gift. We miss each other. He walks into World War III every day after work and takes over everything, so I can collapse. He’s my hero. And practically speaking, I couldn’t make the drive without him. Todd helps me remember what the trainer said and asks good questions. I love my best friend more than ever, and these long drives will be a way to maintain the connection that’s hard to find during the week.
• I can’t go without saying this: watching God provide the money for Carlie and her training has been life-changing. There’s been so much progress on the Go Fund Me page! And we’ve received a substantial amount in anonymous gifts in the past few days. I can’t get over it. It’s something I’ll remember for the rest of my life. There was so much fear that we’d scrounge enough to get Carlie, but we wouldn’t pay off the debt in time and the organization would take her back. Now I can’t imagine we won’t make it to the amount we owe! We have made so much progress so quickly. “Thank you” just is not enough.